Thursday, 23 July 2009 ; 02:01Y
drama-mama-ed
Hi, some research I did last week. The first is about how influential Facebook is, and the rest are mostly about how addicting Facebook is.
Meeting new friends face-to-Facebook
As I started my career as a UCLA student, I expected to be hit with typical ice-breaker questions such as, “What building do you live in?” or “What’s your major?” But I found more often the burning question on campus is, “Hey, aren’t you my friend on Facebook?” As I continue unraveling all of the so-called freshman mysteries, I often think to myself, “Exactly how many people on campus have made friends through Facebook?” The good-old-fashioned way of making friends is extinct.
For those of you living in a cave, Facebook is a social networking site that was created in February 2004 by Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg. Although Zuckerberg’s initial intention was to help Harvard students connect with one another through photos, blogs and messages, the site has expanded to form a revolutionary trend among college students, adults and professionals all over the world. The site continually grows with new features and applications that add flavor to this revolution.
With over 600 friends on Facebook, I can honestly say I have not met about 50 of them. Among these 50 include random people who have added me based on my networks. I hardly communicate with these unknowns, but I often wonder what sparks interest in them to add me as their friend. In a traditional sense, I am definitely not their friend. But the emergence of the Facebook trend has altered the definition of “friendship” to mean acquaintances and anonymous stalkers who think you look like a potential victim. I have discovered that looking through someone’s pictures on Facebook automatically makes you their friend, which seems almost effortless.
Before I started my freshman year at UCLA, I found there were hundreds of groups on Facebook to connect UCLA students. The list is almost endless. As a new student at UCLA, I joined groups like “Dysktra Hall” and “So Cal Bruins” as a way of meeting new people. Others started adding me as their “friend” based on my membership of these groups, and sooner or later, I started my own network of “Facebook friends.” There was even a group designed to search for roommates, and surprisingly enough, this is where I met one of my roommates who has become one of my very good friends (the real kind).
Within my first few days on campus, I bumped into many of the “friends” I had made on Facebook. And of course, I was approached with the question, “Aren’t you my friend on Facebook?” At first, these encounters seemed a little strange. The thought that people are taking the time to look through my pictures throughly enough to recognize me on sight is disconcerting. Pictures can definitely be a helpful way of connecting with people, but I’ve found that pictures posted on a Web site can be quite deceiving. No one will put up a bad picture, and in fact, many people choose to Photoshop their pictures so they conceal or enhance certain physical features. Now how easy will it be to recognize these “friends”?
Is the customary interaction of meeting someone face-to-face dead? Technology is inevitable in this generation and it seems Facebook is just another means that is changing the traditional definition of friendship. Instead of talking to someone in person or over the phone, we text or Facebook chat. We talk with our fingers and with our keyboards. Real human interaction often seems unnecessary with all this technology right at our fingertips. We think we know a person through what they seem to be on a computer or cell phone screen. Even with all the warning about online predators, most of us are still naive to think that people are really who they say they are on Facebook or other social Web sites. The computer screen isn’t nearly as protective as we often expect.
When it comes down to it, this Facebook revolution is unstoppable. Even when we aren’t on Facebook, we talk about Facebook. We talk about who posted what pictures and who’s posting on whose wall. It is the ultimate nosy person’s haven. The best prevention of any real damage is cautiously evaluating people and showing good judgment when deciding if we want to trust them . Trust is something that is difficult to establish through technology, so being careful is key.
Take note of the next time you encounter conversations on Facebook or new friend requests from people you don’t even know. And don’t be surprised when someone approaches you with an offer of “friendship.”
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Five clues that you are addicted to Facebook
One day recently, Cynthia Newton's 12-year-old daughter asked her for help with homework, but Newton didn't want to help her, because she was too busy on Facebook. So her daughter went upstairs to her room and sent an e-mail asking her for help, but Newton didn't see the e-mail, because, well, she was too busy on Facebook.
The problem exists when a Facebook user crosses the line from social networking into social dysfunction.
"I'm an addict. I just get lost in Facebook," Newton said. "My daughter gets so PO'd at me, and really it is kind of pathetic. It's not something I'm particularly proud of. I just get so sucked in."
Newton (that's not her real name; she's embarrassed by her Facebook use and requested anonymity) says she spends about 20 hours a week on the social networking site, half the time for work -- she runs an online business -- and half just for fun. She's tried to cut down on her Facebook use but failed.
"I can go a whole day without Facebook," she said. "But I've never made it through an entire weekend."
Although there are no statistics on "Facebook addiction" -- it isn't an actual medical diagnosis -- therapists say they're seeing more and more people like Newton who've crossed the line from social networking to social dysfunction.
"Last Friday, I had three clients in my office with Facebook problems," said Paula Pile, a marriage and family therapist in Greensboro, North Carolina. "It's turned into a compulsion -- a compulsion to dissociate from your real world and go live in the Facebook world."
Pile and the other therapists interviewed for this article were quick to say that Facebook itself isn't the problem and that the vast majority of its 200 million users probably function just fine.
"I'm on it myself," Pile said. "My daughter just got married, and I got great happiness posting her wedding pictures for all my friends to see."
She says problems arise when users ignore family and work obligations because they find the Facebook world a more enjoyable place to spend time than the real world.
Newton says she checks Facebook first thing when she wakes up, and then she checks her Facebook page as many as seven times while at work, and then she'll check Facebook again when she gets home and one more time before she goes to sleep. If you've been keeping count, that's about 10 times a day.
A single parent, Newton includes "Facebook flirting" with men and meeting up with old schoolmates among her favorite activities.
"One old friend told me he had a crush on me in kindergarten, and it tore him apart when we weren't put in the same class in first grade," she said. "When I read that, I was like, wow. I blushed at my computer. I had no idea I was so important . It felt very real, warm and dear."
The problem is that it's not real, says Joanna Lipari, a clinical psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles. She compares Facebook to "The Truman Show," the 1998 Jim Carrey movie about a fabricated world where nothing ever goes wrong.
"Facebook is a fun, pleasant, happy, beautiful world. People only present the crème de la crème of their lives on Facebook. And these people want to be your friends! It's very seductive." It's especially seductive when real life isn't going so well, Pile adds.
"In real life, people have morning breath, and you have to pay bills with them, and you argue about who's going to change the baby's diaper," she said. "But Facebook is happyland. You don't have to deal with any of that."
Newton says she knows all this and is frustrated at how much time she spends on Facebook, given that she has a job and a child. "I've thought about going cold turkey, but that would make me so uncomfortable. I know I couldn't do it."
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You know you're a Facebook addict when ...
1. You lose sleep over Facebook
"If you're staying up late at night because you're on Facebook, and you're tired the next day, Facebook may be a compulsion for you," Lipari said. "You shouldn't be neglecting yourself because of Facebook."
2. You spend more than an hour a day on Facebook
Pile says it's hard to pinpoint exactly how much is too much time to be spending on social networking. "I can't imagine that anyone would need more than an hour a day on Facebook, and probably no one needs more than 30 minutes," she said.
3. You become obsessed with old loves
Reconnecting with old friends is one of the great attractions of Facebook, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with "friending" an old boyfriend or girlfriend. But Pile warns that it can get out of hand very quickly. "One of my clients met up with an old boyfriend on Facebook. They started spending hours and hours into the night talking to each other on Facebook. She made some really inappropriate comments about how unhappy she was in her marriage," Pile said. "Her cousin saw the comments and told her parents, and the parents told the husband, and now they're in the process of getting divorced."
4. You ignore work in favor of Facebook
"If you're not doing your job in order to sneak time on Facebook, you could have a real problem," Lipari said.
5. The thought of getting off Facebook leaves you in a cold sweat
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Potential Facebook addiction
Facebook has become an indispensable way to find old friends, schedule events, play games and even send virtual gifts. But if you’re doing more living online than off, it might be time to reassess. Many students are now seeing Facebook more as an addiction than a networking tool, and psychologists are starting to agree.
Are personal relationships taking a backseat to Facebook? Do you think about Facebook even when you’re offline? Do you use Facebook to escape problems or homework? Do you stay on Facebook longer than intended? Have you ever concealed Facebook use?If you answered yes to any, you might be a borderline addict – no joke.
Frequent Facebook visits actually cause something psychologists refer to as intermittent reinforcement. Notifications, messages and invites reward you with an unpredictable high, much like gambling. That anticipation can get dangerously addictive.
Rob Bedi, a registered psychologist and assistant professor at the University of Victoria, said that Internet addictions are common on university campuses, often helped by free Internet access, web-based assignments and unstructured blocks of time.Bedi said there’s a difference between procrastination and addiction. If you’re losing assignment time to Facebook, though, that’s a problem.The key may be as simple as diagnosing your triggers and changing your habits.“Find out what’s missing from your life,” said Bedi. “Whether it’s having too much free time, not knowing anyone or just escaping, think about what made you resort to [Facebook], and what you could be doing instead.”
Bedi suggests keeping a log to track your Facebook usage. If you’re shocked by what you see, try the following: List your Facebook goals. Why did you originally sign up? Record what you actually do on Facebook. Make a Facebook schedule. Limit time to maintaining your original goals. Update your e-mail addresses to avoid relying on Facebook messages.Bedi also suggested changing your password to something unfamiliar, including numbers, writing it on a piece of paper and placing it out of reach to make checking Facebook a chore. Repeat if necessary to curb your behaviour.
“This is not something you can quit cold turkey,” said Bedi. “While a cocaine addict can put down his drug and an alcoholic his drink, you can’t preach abstinence to a student society that functions on Internet usage. What you can do is practice control.”
For some people, talking with someone might be the answer. Many universities offer addiction counselling through student services.If you’re not quite ready for that, you could join one of the 155 Facebook Addicts Anonymous groups on Facebook itself – but that might defeat the purpose.
Melissa
